addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
goodbye RS! be gone! forever! training you suck go away.
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
well on the bright side, i was semi-high today because
RS IS OVER
yes, no more rs till forever. till pw in jc but. uh let's just forget about that for now. that was like.. what? 45 plus pages? of .. haha. blood, sweat and tears (: i swear, i never thought i'd be able to finish it. RS was just like a long long long race. haha. sigh. i put in SO MANY MANY HOURS/DAYS/WEEKS/MTHS/YEAR PLUS of effort. although i do confess to boycotting rs and being in denial for about a mth. that was cos i overworked myself before that! during the hols i did lotsa research and collation and all that. so after sch reopened i was just burnt out.
i need to document how i handed up my rs. because it must be remembered. no matter how stupid or meaningless it sounds, it just must be remembered because it was a.. a nice closure. haha. well okay so during recess i trooped down to the pe dept carrying my bag looking like i was going to walk out of sch. nard, ge and their friend were there. i put down my bag, and low and behold, mrong walks out of the dance studio! (no i don't think he was dancing). uh, he then asks me if I HAVE COMBED MY HAIR. riiightt. i think that poster has done me harm... they should've photoshopped my hair. made it look gelled or something. good thing i can't see any pimples in the poster or else... uh anw, as i was saying. i gracefully take out my report and portfolio (that was like 5-6cm thick)... and mrong takes ANOTHER jab at me. "submitting your university thesis ah?". so i laugh very stupidly and then pass the heavy documents to my mentor. she smiles and takes the documents from me. ahhhh, the moment the documents left my hands... it was like someone had just eased the load. i mean, someone DID, cos the darn thing was like how many kg?! yeah anw figuratively as well. mrong repeats his earlier joke and says to my mentor "eh, she is submitting her university thesis!" ahha and my mentor says something that flattered me. but i shan't gloat. ahhahaha. anw, my so called "university thesis" lacked minutes, agendas and journals from last aug-now. i'm sorry i couldn't be bothered. and it didn't seem all that impt from what i gathered after analysing the rubrics. i do hope she returns me my portfolio and report though, i want to keep them!
i'm quite proud of myself actually. managing this project on my own. with initial help from lijia ofcourse... ahha my strengthsquest description said i'm good at things like "research projects". hmmmmmmmmm. i hope that means i get a good grade.
okay but after the euphoria that i clearly displayed during recess (ask fx, sy or wj), i went into .. a rather depressive state during assembly. then another euphoria during the FINAL RS BLOCK! which i spent very "productively" when i started confessing my love for eileen, kellynn and fx. and from chinese onwards i was just a dumb dumb. hurhur. till now i feel so tired. ARGH.
math and chem next week :(
training has been HELL. not cos of the prog. the prog is fine. but cos i simply canNOT focus anymore. doing horrendous times. and the pot is not around. everyone is slacking. including me. i don't know how to manage myself anymoreee. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
my grades are so bad. sigh. i lack intellection! wj give me some of yours!
oh yah, i think the teachers all hate me. esp joules and the entire pe dept. i'm tired of teachers being snappy all the time. grr.